Preparing for the Next Dive

Tomorrow is my next infusion, and I have to admit: I'm not looking forward to it at all. Hopefully this is the one that will start being easier to breeze through. But it does seem that the roads in Chemoworld are very poorly paved, so I expect a series of bumps and jostling.

Three weeks after this infusion, I go for a CT scan.  That should happen in three weeks, and then we will actually have information. Is the chemo working? Do we keep going on this path? The day of the CT results is the one I worry about the most. 

I'm not really sure what to say here. This thing I have to do is looming, and so I will do it. It doesn't feel brave or special or courageous to be doing this. I just have to get there, have to get it done. Maybe now I'll get a break and be able to rebuild my strength and my voice.

So I trust my doctor, and so I prepare to dive in to the next chemo. The distance seems higher, and the amount o liquid at the bottom seems lower. But the only way through this is, in fact, through. 


Wish me luck.

Comments

  1. Bliss Is Your FutureApril 11, 2021 at 5:43 PM

    Good luck. This can't be easy, and would you believe I understand not seeing it as courageous... just exhausting?

    But on the other hand it has led to such things as your sweet fez when you were in the hospital, so there's a bit of a bright side.

    I love you.

    - Talia

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bliss Is Your FutureApril 11, 2021 at 5:44 PM

      ...I'm going to need to rename this account, I'm not even working on that project anymore.

      Delete
  2. Zach PineApril 11, 2021 at 8:16 PM

    Trust and "going through" are things I know well. Not easy to keep going, I know. And I also know the "waiting on the CT" dread/hope. Hang in! I'm listening.

    ReplyDelete
  3. kathy SmithApril 11, 2021 at 10:32 PM

    Scary dive. But free falling may be your best way through it. In your mind is where you free fall. One more round in the infusion chair and hope you can stay airborne as an escape from fear and worry through the following 3 weeks. You’ve endured and endured. Hang in there 3 more weeks! Will be sending hope. You’ve always got hope.

    ReplyDelete
  4. oraApril 12, 2021 at 11:22 AM

    Mazel ... (that's even better than luck)

    ReplyDelete
  5. GeorgeApril 12, 2021 at 4:33 PM

    I've been thinking a lot about your "big day" today. I wish I could be there and hold your hand and distract you with my lame jokes. But for now I'll just hug you from my little room in my little house on Derby St. Best of luck to you and Tom. See you on the other side after some well deserved rest.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AstroApril 12, 2021 at 7:58 PM

    I'm sure you got all 10s today, even from the Russian judge. You're a regular Greg Louganis. I don't know if the guy in the speedo helped you today, but he couldn't hurt. Can't wait to talk to you. mwa!

    ReplyDelete
  7. (George) Lucien GregoireApril 14, 2021 at 4:59 PM

    Thoughts are with you. Success...

    ReplyDelete
  8. BlancheApril 15, 2021 at 10:51 AM

    I know you got a 10 on your chemo dive and that your team is applauding your efforts! I know that I certainly am. Sending you and Tom and kids lots and lots of love!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Linda SinclairApril 15, 2021 at 7:38 PM

    With you in spirit. Love you Dmitri.

    ReplyDelete

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