Preparing for the Next Dive

Tomorrow is my next infusion, and I have to admit: I'm not looking forward to it at all. Hopefully this is the one that will start being easier to breeze through. But it does seem that the roads in Chemoworld are very poorly paved, so I expect a series of bumps and jostling.

Three weeks after this infusion, I go for a CT scan.  That should happen in three weeks, and then we will actually have information. Is the chemo working? Do we keep going on this path? The day of the CT results is the one I worry about the most. 

I'm not really sure what to say here. This thing I have to do is looming, and so I will do it. It doesn't feel brave or special or courageous to be doing this. I just have to get there, have to get it done. Maybe now I'll get a break and be able to rebuild my strength and my voice.

So I trust my doctor, and so I prepare to dive in to the next chemo. The distance seems higher, and the amount o liquid at the bottom seems lower. But the only way through this is, in fact, through. 


Wish me luck.

Comments

  1. Good luck. This can't be easy, and would you believe I understand not seeing it as courageous... just exhausting?

    But on the other hand it has led to such things as your sweet fez when you were in the hospital, so there's a bit of a bright side.

    I love you.

    - Talia

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    1. ...I'm going to need to rename this account, I'm not even working on that project anymore.

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  2. Trust and "going through" are things I know well. Not easy to keep going, I know. And I also know the "waiting on the CT" dread/hope. Hang in! I'm listening.

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  3. Scary dive. But free falling may be your best way through it. In your mind is where you free fall. One more round in the infusion chair and hope you can stay airborne as an escape from fear and worry through the following 3 weeks. You’ve endured and endured. Hang in there 3 more weeks! Will be sending hope. You’ve always got hope.

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  4. Mazel ... (that's even better than luck)

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  5. I've been thinking a lot about your "big day" today. I wish I could be there and hold your hand and distract you with my lame jokes. But for now I'll just hug you from my little room in my little house on Derby St. Best of luck to you and Tom. See you on the other side after some well deserved rest.

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  6. I'm sure you got all 10s today, even from the Russian judge. You're a regular Greg Louganis. I don't know if the guy in the speedo helped you today, but he couldn't hurt. Can't wait to talk to you. mwa!

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  7. I know you got a 10 on your chemo dive and that your team is applauding your efforts! I know that I certainly am. Sending you and Tom and kids lots and lots of love!

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  8. With you in spirit. Love you Dmitri.

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