High Atop the Palisades
There used to be an amazing amusement part just across the river from New York, called Palisades Amusement Park.It had the best theme song:
The most amazing feature of Palisades was the huge roller coaster, perched right on the edge of the cliff. When the car got to the top of the hill and curved to come back down, the riders could see all the way down to the river. It was terrifying.
No, not that anything exciting is happening. But I go from feeling better to feeling worse in the blink of an eye. My energy level is still zero and I sleep an incredible amount of the day. I can't even begin to explain what this exhaustion feels like - I have difficulty holding my head up, I can't walk very far, it's even hard to hold my cell phone up to text.
I know I've been very out of touch with everyone. It is just too hard to try and talk, most of the time.
Even intellectual stimulation seems to be beyond me. I do try to watch John Oliver, but other than that, I am watching reruns of TV programs I have seen 312 times already. I watch old movies multiple times.
And I doze. a LOT.
I have to believe that this will pass, as I get more used to the chemo. But as I prepare for next Monday's Chemo Number Four, I don't see light at the end of the tunnel. I see more exhaustion. I don't know how long this will go on, but it is very very frustrating, waiting to see if I will ever get my strength back.
So sorry there haven't been more posts, but you can't even imagine how difficult typing this has been. Now I'm going back to my Morris chair and will try to stay away while watching something on TV and maybe working on the china teacup I'm trying to restore. That's about all I can do.
I am eating better, so maybe that will help. But in the meanitime: not much to report.
Stay tuned for more boredom.
Well, this situation stinks out loud. Hang in. Your many fans are hoping for a lasting improvement. Can only imagine how doom-ridden another round of chemo must feel. But you get a break after that, yes?
ReplyDeleteI remember that song -- especially the "cooome ooon ooover" part. Don't think I ever ended up going there, though. Dmitri, may your roller coaster car be padded with extra-comfortable cushions, and braced with a backup track attachment so you stay safely on the rails -- plus maybe jet packs and parachutes just in case. :-)
ReplyDeleteGreetings dear one!♡ chemo treatment is one of the most challenging things! May all the love and care surrounding you and Tom sustain you both. 💗💔💗
ReplyDeleteThis is from Mimi
DeleteHoping the roller coaster smooths out soon. Staying tuned.
ReplyDeleteThanks for letting us be part of your journey. You are well supported.
ReplyDeleteI loved roller coasters as a kid, I still think they're fun. Not this one - it sounds like it sucks big time. Wishing you a nice merry-go-round instead, with beautiful hand carved beasties.
ReplyDeleteHere ya go:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLVgEP8pOWQ&ab_channel=VinceGargiulo
Me, I like little roller coasters and state and county fairs. I think it's the thrill of knowing that they're not properly maintained.
Wait -- watching TV shows over and over is a sign that intellectual stimulation is beyond me/one? I am in serious trouble. It's unnerving how many times I've watched the "Expanse". I don't know whether it's the space-ice-hauler-turned-reluctant-hero or the fact that the lead is just so darned cute. If they just had a little more gratuitous shirtlessness the show would be perfect.
Oh, and if you're reading this, you should be sleeping -- some more. :)
We're here for you. Always. Roller coasters always scared me and made me feel sick. I'm hoping you can get off of it and onto stable, healthy ground soon. Love, Ann and Sam
DeleteWatching a show 312 times is ok. We know this. Sorry about the chemo coaster. It sounds hard as %&*#.
ReplyDeleteYou brought me back with the Palisades theme song. It was so drilled into my head as a kid, but we never went there! I wonder why? As I started singing it to myself, I accidentally wandered into the Fluffer Nutter song. The only reason I can guess is that they have a similar "button" at the end. 5 notes that go like DEE dee dee DEE DEE! Thanks, George for putting the link in your comment. If you need the Fluffer Nutter song too, here it is. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6gljDcLrvQ
Is the Coney Island roller coaster also called The Cyclone? Isn't that as confusing as all the Penn Stations along the Pennsylvania Railroad? Thanks for the nostalgia, honey. Sending you 312 good wishes. xoxo
I'm so sorry for your bumpy ride and exhaustion...sounds H A R D. I hope following this rocky roller coaster trip you'll be smooth sailing in one of the little kiddie boats that peacefully bob along (ring the bell) .
ReplyDeleteI just listened to the jingle and was surprised (not!) how well I knew the lyrics. I saw the 4 Seasons at Palisades Park when I was quite little (too short to really SEE them, but heard them live) (uh oh, now have "Big Girls Don't Cry" stuck in my head).
I'm thinking of you with love, day by day. xoxoxox
I genuinely don’t know where my comments disappear to? I have written almost every single time you post a new blog. I am stymied and wish you knew how much I love reading these. And wish you knew how much I think of you. But cyberspace seems to be gobbling these right before my very eyes. I am hitting publish with the hopes this one sticks. Your strength will find home again in your body. Yiu are rounding the bend. Love you.
ReplyDeleteThank you Kathy, I hope you are right. I really can't imagine going on this way. I think your comments are only showing up when you are logged in using gmail - otherwise it won't publish them. But that is just a guess.
DeleteI have always hated roller coasters, and I really dislike the one you are on, my friend. Your constant exhaustion is terrible, and I know you will have more of that after your next chemo treatment. I really do hope that in time your energy will return along with your smile. I think of you often and send you and the fam all my love!
DeleteOf course there's a nostalgic website for PAP; this page has another jingle I liked more, as it had a bus horn sound effect, a walking bass line, and syncopation. I was always a little confused, though, whether it was an ad for the Park or for public transit. http://www.palisadespark.com/sounds_PS1.html
ReplyDeleteFreddie Cannon's teenage romance song was great in its day, and then covered by so many other groups.
But to the substance: I smell ya, D. The foggy tedium, especially when it seems that that's the best option, is a flattening weight upon effervescence such as yours. It's both depressing and alienating to miss oneself. Are you engaged in any mutual support activities? I'm not talking about the bluebird types, but hanging out with your real cancer peers, people with lots of attitude. I know talking is difficult for you, but once you establish your cred with some of your patented epis-grams (those are Jewish epigrams), you can mostly listen. (Entrepreneurial sidebar: there needs to be a social video platform like Zoom, but much slower. Amble?)
As to your video habits, I'm gonna be a contrarian on this blog and say you can do better. You know there's a lot of insanely amazing video out there these days, so that's 1 option. I'll tell you what I do, though, for wasted hour after hour: topical YouTube. Documentaries about obscure historical events, Korean street foods, traditional Jewish music from Africa, early Christianity, robot design, etc. I'm always looking for an expert with lots of personality, and I'm never disappointed; it's fun just to see how oddballs interpret the medium. It's also fun to follow YouTube's algorithm in its feckless effort to crystallize your taste. Maybe you could start with 20th century home decor or appliance design.
Anyway, I hope you can manipulate yourself (steady!) into appreciating those mental down-but-not-out interludes. They can be cool!
I happened to move to Fort Lee in 1971, so I just barely missed it. Thanks for the great memory...
ReplyDeleteI remember the song but not the visuals in the ad. I wonder if I was hearing it on the radio?
ReplyDeleteSo now I have that damn jingle in my head and it seques into "Ooh wah, ooh wah cool, cool kitty. Tell us about the boy from New York City.... Ooh whee, you ought to come and see"
DeleteThank you, Dmitri. You trigger the bestest memories. One year our family vacation was in September so my dad could fish in the ocean while we dug for clams. We camped along the coast from Big Sur up to Santa Cruz. When I was a kid, you could still camp pretty close to (or on) the beach in California, and drive vehicles on some beaches. Anyhow, the treat was going to be ending the trip in Santa Cruz so we could ride the Giant Dipper, a wood track roller coaster. The most memorable thing about it was that my mom was so totally into it, so much so that we rode it during the daytime and had to stay until it was dark to ride again. Having my mom be excited about the Giant Dipper was so un-mom. She was one of those nervous moms--like she always had to go back into the house once more before we left to go somewhere to make sure the stove was turned off and the iron unplugged. But, roller coasters gave her a thrill.
ReplyDeleteWhat I remember from the Palisades Park was the Fun House, with its hall of mirrors, and sliding, shifting and sloping floors that were more like chutes to some unknown end. That's the ride I'm on.
ReplyDelete