Reflections on How I'm Doing

I'm actually feeling pretty good today. For the first time in three weeks, I haven't fallen asleep multiple times during the morning and early afternoon - in fact, I have been awake since getting up around 6.  My GI system is finally under control, and I am able to use it with some fair degree of confidence, and without pain.

My energy is still quite low, and yet, I have done many projects today. I've been cleaning out and organizing the drawers where our dining room linens are kept, and we have gotten rid of a ton of stuff. I've been working on fixing some antique pocket watches that I have had for years. I'm still working on emptying out and cleaning the china cabinet in the dining room, and I am finding a lot of "treasures" that are also on their way out the door. I'm not sure, for example, why I have two cups, a vase and a covered....something, all of which have frogs on them. I found an old container shaped like a yellow apple. I've found teacups and saucers that match nothing else I own. So, it's all leaving. 

I also sewed up the window seat. The dogs had discovered that the back of it was open, so they liked to play with it and basically tore the back off. I've stitched it (by hand) back on, and now the window seat looks sharp again.  I even bought some epoxy and glued an old teacup together. I don't intend to use it for hot fluids, but I wanted to see how well I could do it. I haven't done any clean up on the joints yet, but it looks pretty good so far.

I'm feeling like myself again - a tired version of myself, but myself. And today, I can see how I might rebuild my strength and come back to being the person I was.

So, of course, tomorrow is the third chemo infusion. 

My doctor has changed the amount of the Etopiside that I am taking, and the concept is that, after having this infusion, I should still feel relatively normal. That is the goal of this, to find a balance where I can be taking the drugs to treat the cancer, and yet still having a good quality of life. Until today, I haven't really seen it - but I can imagine it now. 

So keep your fingers crossed that the worst is really past. It does seem like the GI stuff is under control, and that is what made me so miserable the last few weeks.  My oncologist says they are going to stay on top of what is happening, and that I will have regular meetings with her and the palliative care doctor. I'm hoping for no new weird problems, and smooth sailing going forward. It's about time for me to get what I want.