Big Doings

As I move along here through Chemoworld, things do change, and the further out I get from the last chemo, the better everything seems to me. And as my energy levels slowly come back, I start feeling more and more like a human.

I haven't been able to sleep very much for several days, but last night I finally did get a pretty good night's rest, and it made me feel even more human. My GI system is still kind of screwed up, but the lesions and crap growing in my mouth and throat are going away with a new treatment. It feels amazing to run my tongue around the inside of my mouth and have it feel.... normal.

So Tom and I have taken a couple walks this week. For me, a "walk" is going outside, down the stairs, and getting to the sidewalk. Then I generally turn back and retrace my steps. I'll bet that doesn't sound exciting to readers of this blog, but trust me - it's a big deal.

The biggest thing that happened was this morning. I got up around 5:30 and decided I was going to go out and get the paper. This involves:

  • getting dressed
  • putting on shoes
  • putting on my bathrobe over my clothes (it was 37 degrees)
  • Going out the front door
  • Going down all 11 stairs
  • Walking to where the paper was lying
  • Bending over, picking up the paper, and straightening up
  • Turning
  • Walking back to the stairs
  • Climbing the stairs
  • Opening the plastic bag and shaking the paper out onto the glider
  • Picking up the paper
  • Opening the screen and front door and going inside
  • Collapsing on the couch.

Yes, I know - it doesn't sound like anything. But this took me about 40 minutes to accomplish, and when I was done, I was exhausted.

This is a perspective on life that I really haven't had before, the feeling that doing something as simple as picking up a newspaper would be so damn difficult. But this is a Chemoworld lesson.  

Having worked with people with disabilities for so many years I know there are many things that most of us take for granted that some people cannot do. But it's interesting suddenly being on this side, and being unable to do pretty much everything. 

Will I be a more empathetic person when I return from this voyage? Will my Chemoworld experience change me? I have no doubt but it will. I hope this is yet another learning experience. Stay tuned to see if I'm right.

Comments

  1. AhabroMarch 15, 2021 at 3:44 PM

    Certainly will stay tuned. So glad you're feeling better and it only took you 40 minutes to get the paper! CouldaBeenWorse seems to be a mantra you probably employ quite a bit - it seems to work for me a lot of the time. I am really happy you are hanging in there and have a week to feel better. Do the paper every morning and time it each time - I bet you'll get it down to 25 minutes or less! Love you D.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Stephanie BelserMarch 15, 2021 at 4:53 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. Stephanie BelserMarch 15, 2021 at 4:53 PM

    I can sort of relate. When I had a bad case of norovirus, it took me an hour to change the water and dry food bowls for two cats. I had to drag a chair to the counter so I could sit down and rest after each step.

    But that was a one to two-day thing. Stretching that out to weeks on end sounds awful.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ann BelserMarch 15, 2021 at 6:53 PM

    When they knocked me down when I had cancer I remember lying in a hammock as the wind blew. The weather really picked up and I thought one of the tree limbs above me was going to break off, but I was so tired I didn't care enough to get up and into the house. It gets better. Then you look back and say "Whoa, what was that?"

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownMarch 16, 2021 at 3:50 PM

    haven't checked in for awhile--but this description reminds me of the first time I had a major back problem--I was in my mid 20s! And as I struggled to take a walk down the street, I had new appreciation for 'old people' and vowed never to complain or be critical again of old folks who had to move slow. What we don't appreciate until we don't have it! So congrats for getting the paper!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Record Player on my HeadMarch 17, 2021 at 9:46 AM

    I hope that the first page you turned to was the funnies. I'm proud of you for getting to the sidewalk.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Zach PineMarch 17, 2021 at 12:02 PM

    I am hearing you Dmitri. You probably know about this concept: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoon_theory . It needs an update, to reflect the fact that the "spoons" seem to vanish unexpectedly, and also that they are sometimes impossible to count at any moment. Hoping you get more spoons soon!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ruby GoldMarch 17, 2021 at 12:21 PM

    Yay for normal!!!! Running your tongue around the inside of your mouth and it feeling familiar - yay!! And good on you for your walk to get the paper and back. Triumphs come in different sizes now. I'm celebrating them all with you from afar. Much love.

    ReplyDelete

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